When Do We Become Invisible? Reflecting on Age and Identity

In the vibrant bloom of youth, we stride confidently through life, drawn to those who capture our hearts, regardless of gender.

As time marches on, our physical allure slowly fades into the shadows.
Our parents always told us to stand up straight and walk tall, but is there any truth to the idea that taller people are more successful in life or relationships?

As we age, I sometimes wonder if being tall outweighs being short. As we age and accumulate more birthday candles on our cake, it’s a known fact that our senses start to fade. Not just hearing, sight, and memory but also our height and stature. These physical changes are sadly irreversible.

As we grow grey hair, our skin becomes more wrinkled, our ability to walk tall diminishes, and so does our visibility in the community. We have become the older generation, which we once thought was our parents’ and grandparents’ domain.

George Bernard Shaw famously said, “Youth” is wasted on the young.”.
None of us realised that fact at the time, and we thought we would live forever until one day we became grandparents and were no longer recognisable.

The younger generation should think twice before ignoring the wisdom and knowledge of their elders. After all, they’ll be elders one day, too.

In her youth, my grandmother was a stunning and glamorous model who graced the prestigious Maison of Elsa Schiaparelli in Paris.

She knew too well that looks and notoriety would not last long, although she told me she made the most of every exciting moment, being in Vogue and wearing Haute Couture clothes.

Grandmother told me that she had her moment in time, and although she may be overlooked by many today and disregarded by some, she knew where she had been and what she had accomplished in life. From the glamorous cocktail parties, endless champagne, and the handsome young men hanging around for attention was her reality.

These experiences gave her pride, contentment, and validation to stand up to those who tried to dismiss her with childish insults. ” She’d say, “I’ve lived a full and vibrant life; before you know it, you too will be walking in my shoes, so don’t waste a moment of it.”

My mother’s most prized possession was a black cocktail dress from the legendary Coco Chanel in Paris.

Grandmother gifted that dress to my mother on her 21st birthday, and my mother only wore it for special occasions. After having children, the dress no longer fit.

She lovingly stored it in a designer garment cover, ensuring its pristine condition. When she died a few years ago, we found the dress in her wardrobe in the same immaculate state.

Her granddaughter inherited the dress, wearing it occasionally with great pride, adorned with a single string of pearls.

For my mother and grandmother, ageing was a privilege that so many people never have the opportunity to experience; this is a time for reflection and remembrance of what life you had and how you once stood tall with your head held high.

Grandmother often referred to herself as having her head in the clouds when she married my grandfather, revealing that he successfully fought off many other suitors who had attempted to pursue her and became the happiest man alive.

They both walked tall by raising a family, surviving a world war, and watching their family grow and expand, knowing how to feel proud and recognising that values make us and that the way we treat our fellow humans is imperative.

Grandmother would quote from the Bible: Matthew 7:12, “So in everything, do unto others what you would have them do to you.” For her, this meant that we should never expect to be treated with respect until we had earned it.

One of my grandmothers’ favourite songs was “Walk Tall, Walk Straight, and Look the World Right in the Eye” by Val Doonican.

This song was one of her most cherished mantras, held close to her heart and passed down to the current generation.