A heartfelt gesture turned sour for a woman celebrating her mother’s birthday at an aged care facility. Posting in the Aged Care Worker Support Group on Facebook, the woman recounted her shock and devastation after discovering the birthday cake intended for her mother was being eaten by a staff member in the staff room.
The woman explained in her post:
“My mum’s birthday today, she’s in age care, so we took her a birthday cake, gave it to the staff to bring out to surprise her. After a long wait, my sister went looking for said cake and staff that was supposed to bring out said cake with mother’s name written clearly on it – to find it in the staff room with staff member eating it… I couldn’t believe my eyes I had to leave I was absolutely devastated.”
She added that when she reported the incident to the staff member at reception, they simply shook their head in disbelief.
The post quickly sparked a wave of outrage and sympathy from group members, all of whom work in aged care themselves. One commenter said:
“I’d be speaking directly to the facility manager – that is NOT OK!! I personally would have said something directly to the staff member when I saw it rather than just leaving and then escalated it further regardless of the bullshit excuse you’ll get from said staff member. The bottom line is that was a resident’s food which was stolen, and for her birthday of all things – disgusting behaviour!”
For families of aged care residents, celebrations such as birthdays are a rare chance to bring joy and create cherished memories. To have such a special moment overshadowed by an incident like this understandably struck a nerve.
Other commenters, who identified as aged care workers, expressed disbelief at the breach of protocol. One long-time employee shared:
“I work in aged care and have done for many years. When family bring in special cakes for birthdays or whatever, they take it straight to the kitchen. The staff in the kitchens organise plates, knives, and whatever else is required. Otherwise, it goes to the lifestyle team to get organised. Never has that happened in the facilities I’ve worked in. As others have said, escalate it to management. Surely that is classed as a SIRS [Serious Incident Response Scheme]. Sorry this happened to your mum.”
Such protocols, designed to ensure proper handling of food and respectful treatment of residents’ items, are standard in many facilities. This instance appears to highlight a troubling lapse in practice.
Not everyone was shocked, however. Another commenter, a former aged care worker, suggested systemic issues could be at play:
“I was an aged care worker. We are too busy to serve cake. It’s a public fridge; things get stolen from the fridge. I never stole food, but it happens. Facility managers do not care—they are dealing with real issues, medical issues, not about a cake.”
While this perspective points to broader challenges in the sector, it does little to excuse what many see as an inexcusable breach of trust.
The original poster has yet to confirm whether she has escalated the matter to management or taken further action. However, many in the group encouraged her to lodge a formal complaint, citing the importance of holding staff accountable for such behaviour.
This incident also underscores the importance of clear communication and robust procedures in aged care settings to avoid similar occurrences in the future. Families entrust facilities to care for their loved ones with dignity and respect, and moments like these can shake that trust.
She probably doesn’t want to report the incident or cause any fuss as she is more concerned that there may be retribution – to the ongoing care for her mother when she is not there.
What a disgusting person and sadly that was probably the only decent food. The resident would have got that day family’s if your thinking of aged care. If you want your family member to lose. Choice independent Activities. Nutritional food.
What the brochure? Say is all crap They lie to your face Your family member will get nothing
This is disgraceful behaviour; I have been nursing nearly 40 yrs and I have never seen this happen in any care setting!! Totally unacceptable
This is not unusual at all. I have seen support workers eat the residents lunches that are delivered by the kitchen. Cutting them in half and only serving the residents half their lunch. I was told there was too much food on the plate for the resident and it should not go to waste.
I took a huge Easter Egg into my father who was in an aged care facility and the Easter Egg was taken off him by the Lifestyle staff telling him he was glucose intolerant (he wasn’t and they had no idea what they were talking about) and he was told he could not have it.
It was then taken to the staff room and eaten by the staff, I was told.
I complained about it to several staff in management and clinical.
Nothing was done.
Hope the staff member got the sack! What an incredibly disgusting thing to do!! I worked in the age care industry for years, I left due to witnessing the appalling treatment of many residents and managers treating me like sh** after I reported them! I was the problem for reporting the problems .. it’s a terrible industry to work for
Your not alone I myself was push and push to the point I had to resign. The job. That I loved and had for 30 years I complained and told them I had photo of the disgusting food being served they were. Just piss off. I had the photos Not what was being shown to them on what residents are made to eat. But unfortunately. Now there know one who will stand up for the rights of the residents because they seen what happened to me. And aged care is now full of Visa holder. Who really don’t understand much English. And facilities. Hire them knowing they want complain Because. They are threatened. They will not have a job. And they have no training. And there are used. I should publish. The photo I have And my resignation
Letter And shock. The hell out of. Every one
disgusting. the reply of the other worker in aged care about management being too busy with serious issues to worry about cake just further reflects the neglect and lack of empathy of these institutions, and that’s what they appear to be , institutions, not an extension of life with dignity and care which our elders deserve.
How right you are they are not looked after properly and the Managers and staff lie.
I have been a facilty manager for multiple RACF’s and this is not OK. I would want to know so would strongly encourage the family to speak to senior management either in the facility or escalate up. This is not (IMO) a SIRS however it is a gross disrespect to the resident and her family. I would be more interested as to why the birthday was not more widely celebrated by the facility as a time to recognise and celebrate the resident’s special day. I hope they apologise, rectify and communicate with their care team on this.
The facility where my late mother resided held a special birthday party each month, organised by the Lifestyle team, for those residents celebrating a birthday that month. It was August, the month of my mother’s birthday. The celebration birthday event was underway. I arrived to find my mother totally alone in her regency chair in the dining room staring into space, whilst the rest of the residents were enjoying birthday cake in the activity room. I was upset and disappointed in the lack of respect shown to my mother. She had resided in the facility for years. I agree, families entrust facilities to care for their loved ones with dignity and respect, and it is moments like these that erode trust.
I have worked in Aged Care for many years and this has never happened. Cakes are always taken to the main kitchen if they are not required straight away! Sometimes if there is cake left over it is offered to Staff! The Lady in question needs to lodge a formal complaint and the Staff who stole some of the cake made to buy another and be reprimanded. It’s not on!
Absolutely disgusting behaviour, this needs to be taken further. The animals that were so thoughtless, should be held accountable. If it was my loved one, I would have shamed them before going to management. Sorry this happened 😢
Yes there are good Residential Aged Care Facilities, but there are still many that are hopeless.
The quality of some Aged Care management is so bad its hard to believe they can still be in business.
What awful standards does this particular facility tolerate ?
And before the Aged Care Quality and Safety Commission says ..”lodge a formal complaint”…I have years ago lodged complaints for my family and recently assisted a friend to lodge a current complaint.
The current forms are different, the current people are different, but the result is the same. No improvement, very little by way enforcement action [maybe a letter], and every complete failure of clinical care and service standards is treated as “..a learning opportunity…” for the facilities involved.
So our Aged Care Residents are still officially training aids for the worst of our Approved Providers.
So sad that your mothers special day spoilt in such a way .in my many years in aged care I have come across similar incidents and nothing Iwas done by management. Untrained staff and disregard for residents rights are partly to blame as well as management not issue warnings at time. What happened to three times and your out. I hope your mother at least enjoyed having family with h er on her special day
I lodged a complaint to the Age Care Quality and Safety Commission AQSC regarding my mother’s lack of care in a Blue Care Facility. In the complaint, I also mentioned the terrible quality of the food mainly the terrible quality of the meat. I wanted Uniting Church UC which now owns Blue Care BC to be included in the meeting which eventually took place after 4 months. No one from the UC was there only the BC facility Manager and another BC member with some other management title. Nothing changed and AQSC did nothing. I have recently lodged another complaint but don’t expect anything different in the outcome.
Why why why are so many people apeing the term ‘aged care’ as fex by government and clearly not in the interests of the aged. If you want respect then start using accurate terminology. Change the words/thinking and you might change the culture . Thos industry currently and for a long time cannot give care under the current structure and culture. The lies and spin used to cover reality demonstrate contempt – not care.