A son and his partner are asking the internet for advice after revealing that his mother walked around nitpicking the cleanliness of their home on her first visit to the house to meet her newborn twins before they politely asked her to leave.
The first-time father recently posted his story on a Reddit forum where members of the public turn to the internet for advice on life’s tricky situations.
“My mom is expecting an apology from me for ruining her first meeting with her grandkids,” said the young father. “I’m not sure if there was a better way to handle what happened.”
The young man explained that his newborn twins were only four weeks old and that he and his partner delayed having their mother come over to visit earlier because both he and his partner were exhausted.
However, when the man’s mother did arrive to meet her grandchildren for the first time, she began pointing out all the untidy areas in the home and seemed more worried about that than meeting her actual grandchildren.
“Who can expect to keep a clean house with one newborn, much less twins? And why would the grandma even care?”
The grandmother questioned why the twin’s play mat was on the floor, even after the couple explained that the babies were playing on them earlier that day.
She then complained about the bin being full even though the man had taken the garbage out earlier that morning due to the amount of mess that two newborns can produce.
The young man was well aware of his mother’s stance on cleanliness, but as his frustration grew, the young father eventually told his mother to ‘knock it off’.
The young man’s partner was asleep when the grandmother arrived after a long night of feeding and dealing with the aftermath of a caesarean birth.
After waking up one hour into the grandmother’s visit, the young woman greeted her before having to retreat to the bedroom to feed one of the kids and then rock the other one back to sleep.
But that didn’t stop the mother from questioning the young lady’s manners despite everything that she had been dealing with over the last four weeks.
The grandmother then went on to say that her son’s partner’s actions were “not right” because they were having company at the house and that although she was there to meet her grandchildren she still expects to see a tidy house.
After growing tired of his mother’s negativity, the young father eventually asked her to leave, which she promptly did.
Now, weeks after her first visit, the grandmother is asking for an apology and claiming that both her son and his partner treated her poorly on a day that was supposed to be memorable for her.
The young father is now asking the internet if he was wrong for asking his mother to leave and if he could have handled things differently? Or is his mother in the wrong for her actions on the day?
Please have your say on the matter in the comment section.
No she should apologise for been so picky . Maybe she should have asked is there anything that she could have done for them. I’m glad she’s not my mother
Why wouldn’t a mother or grandmother be concerned to see her grandchildren living in filth. I’d be more concerned if she didn’t care.
Perhaps the new parents could look at their hygiene standards and remember that they aren’t the first generation to have children or to have to maintain a house!
Well I’m jolly glad I’m not related to you!!! A new baby, twins no less. I defy anyone to have an immaculate house after a birth, at least for the first three months!
Where was the help in those first 4 weeks. I’m sure they would have welcomed Granny with open arms if she had offered to clean/help out during that first month instead of expecting to be entertained. Shame on you.
What an arrogant & over the top reply!
The parents stated the room to be untidy & there was nomention of the home being “filthy”
Poor parents having twins and exhausted because of looking after them, changing them and feeding them etc
No compassion from the mother or offer to help nor eagerness to see & hold the twins.
Husband was right to tell his mum to leave 👏🏼
Or she could simply offer to help? Clearly the old hag hadn’t had the foresight to acknowledge her own poor treatment or inconvenience of her son much less the partner but hey let’s just tear another young parent apart for failing the white glove test🤦🏼♀️
It’s not said they were living in fifth and the grandmother should have asked it she cannhelp and get things done for the tierd new parents of twins and a ceaser at that . She should have kept her opinions to herself as they are her standards no one elses . If I invited her back I’d say take it as it is we are tierd .
Who said it was filth!?
There was not “filth” it was just untidy, as all of us new parents experience immediately after birth.
The mother should have offered to help and not been so rude.
I wouldn’t ask her back until the kid’s graduation. She as a mother herself should understand how hard it can be with a new born let alone two . The mess is only going to get worse as they grow older , so I’d say the grandma needs to apologise and get in there and help or stay away.
No instead of criticism, she should rolled up her sleeves , cleaned kitchen and prepared a nice hot meal for the couple I am a grandma and she should of known better
We only have the sons version of events and he admits that the house was a mess!
I bet that’s about half right and I would also bet that the new mother was rude.
I think the truth would be somewhere in the middle..and if we had all the facts we would find one vindicated grandmother and one entitled wife. Everyone knows that the author will color to make him/her look innocent!
Regardless, it is THEIR house & she is the guest (family or not!)
If she didn’t like it, she had two choices – help the new family & tidy up or leave. She doesn’t have the right to enter someone elses house & sit it judgement of everyone else. Can’t have been that bad ‘filth’ she obviously hasn’t called child services with her concerns.
That grandmother should have just pitched in and helped, when she could see that they were struggling. Perhaps after the house was tidied up a bit she could have made some suggestions on how to cope better – twins can be hard for anyone – especially new parents.
No he was not wrong in asking her to leave. If she went there to meet her grand babies why the heck did she nit pick about everything, one goes to visit the people not inspect their home
She really needs to ” get a life ! “
No they should not apologise it should be the mother who should apologise. If she didn’t like how messy the house was then why did she not offer to give them a hand in cleaning up. No one should have to go through that especially after having a baby.
TBH granny should have come with the lovely meal to their home in 1st place. I am not a mum yet, but I have heard different stories where parents are awake all night and day because of the newborn feeding and sleeping cycle and being a new parent is just like learning a new skill. It takes time to get into a routine with new members. It is okay if parents have politely requested their mum to leave. Because I have concerns:
1) Granny’s disrespected new mum and her comment could negatively impact their relationship.
2) Granny should have offered solution and if she was in to them. she could have said: ‘Hey, I know a cleaner who could come around and help you’ and I can take care of baby’s sometimes so that you both can sleep or even mum can sleep for couple of hours.
Their could be many reasons why granny acts like that way may be granny is feeling lonely after sons toltal attention to new born or may be granny felt left behind.
These things are going to because when we start something new, our attention is mostly their. it is normal he he sometimes 1 st born could be jealous of 2 nd born.
I think instead of anyone apologising. Parebts should talk to granny and see if something is bothering her. And if its that she miss being part of the family than include her and let her help her way and if their is no solution. Dont worry. She is old. What could a parent do instead of thinking good! he he. I hope this helps!
No you are not wrong. She could have offered to help. Tell her she is welcome to visit only if she accept the way the house is or help and no you’re not going to apologise for her bad behaviour.
Having a baby is a joyous event, but it remains quite an ordeal regardless. Having two babies is even more taxing. Put this together with an serious operation, even more so.
Grandmothers can be wonderful. BUT some are simply toxic. She has no right to criticize your wife or your home. She should respect the boundaries of normal social engagement.
Maybe she could have offered help instead? Your primary responsibility is to protect your wife against negative people at this vulnerable time. Respect to you.