Apr 11, 2024

Grandma feels she is being used by her daughter for babysitting

image source [Shutterstock Images]

Being a grandparent is often described as one of life’s greatest joys, but it can also come with its own set of challenges. In a plea for support, a frustrated grandmother contacted the online community, baring her heart about feeling unappreciated in her role as her granddaughter’s caregiver.

Opening up on the Gransnet forum, the grandmother named Bernadette shared, “I have my granddaughter once a week, shared with the other grandmother. I love doing this, but the problem is I feel I am being taken for granted.”

Bernadette shared that she was growing increasingly upset due to what she perceives to be unequal treatment between herself and her granddaughter’s other grandmother. 

“While the other grandma gets treated to meals out and even joined them on a holiday last year, I’ve never been invited for so much as a cup of tea. I’ve never received flowers or chocolates,” she lamented.

To add even further insult to Bernadette’s situation, she recently learned that the parents of her granddaughter took the grandmother from the other side of the family (father’s side) on a trip to London.

Understandably, this news made Bernadette feel even more excluded. The grandmother revealed that it actually moved her to tears.

To make matters even worse, Bernadette reached out to her daughter and asked about joining them for the next Christmas dinner only to hear that her request may be a problem because her daughter’s husband’s family will be coming over. 

After repeatedly feeling disappointed and shunned by her daughter, Bernadette turned to the internet for advice and claimed that her heartbreak at the situation has her considering whether or not she should continue looking after her granddaughter once a week.

In response to the story, some respondents reminded Bernadette of the joy and privilege of spending time with her granddaughter, urging her to focus on the positive aspects of their relationship.

One member empathized, offering advice, “I’m truly sorry for what you’re going through. Ultimately, you’re the one who can resolve this. You could either talk to your daughter directly or reduce the days you have your granddaughter. I understand your dilemma.”

Another suggested addressing the issue with her daughter directly, saying, “Have an open conversation with your daughter about why she treats the other grandma differently. Perhaps she’s taken your support for granted because you’ve always been there for her. It’s important to express how you feel and seek understanding.”

While the majority of commenters advocated for open communication and assertiveness by Bernadette, we would like to hear from you, the HelloCare audience.

Do you have a story that you would like to share with us? If so, please send your idea to stories@hellocare.com.au and one of our team members will be in touch. Stories can be posted anonymously if you wish.

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