Apr 04, 2024

Mum wants advice on how to handle grandma who feeds grandaughter sweets

Mum wants advice on how to handle grandma who feeds grandaughter sweets
A woman seeks advice regarding the way that her mother babysits her 18 month old granddaughter. [Source: Shutterstock.]

My husband and I moved in with my parents while we saved for a house. In the space of two years, we managed to save enough to buy a house, had a baby and then my parents (both in their 70s) actually decided to separate after 50 years of marriage because of my father’s infidelity.

Due to the separation, my mother and father were going to sell the family home to go their separate ways, but my husband and I decided to purchase half of the house to allow my father to be paid and move on and make it so my mum didn’t have to leave or go anywhere.

When we decided to purchase half the value of the family home to support my mother and facilitate my father’s departure, we understood that sacrifices would be necessary and that there would be both negatives and positives to this decision.

Living with my mother has undoubtedly brought about positive outcomes. Her assistance with childcare and household tasks has been invaluable, allowing my husband and me to pursue our careers and maintain a semblance of normalcy in our lives.

It is also beautiful seeing our daughter grow up in the house with a grandmother who loves her more than anything. 

My husband and I are grateful for the immense support my mother provides. But lately, a recurring issue has been causing tension.

Despite my repeated requests, my mother disregards my wishes regarding my daughter’s diet.

While I appreciate her gestures of kindness, her habit of sneaking sweets and processed foods to my 18-month-old daughter behind my back concerns me deeply.

In all honesty, things like this might happen every fortnight but recently there have been a number of incidents of her sneakily feeding my daughter sweets in quick succession. And to make matters worse, she tries to hide it from me.

Unhealthy habits that I have struggled with in my life – which is why I try so hard to ensure my daughter eats well.

At the same time, I’m acutely aware of the sacrifices my mother has made for our family. Yet, as a parent, I feel a responsibility to make decisions that align with what I feel is right for my daughter.

I’m torn between gratitude for all she does and frustration over her refusal to abide by my simple requests. Recently, I confronted Mum about this issue for at least the fifth  time, but she still just doesn’t get it. 

She thinks that I’m making a big deal out of nothing, and creates even more conflict between us.

As I grapple with this dynamic, I ask anyone with experience with a similar situation if you could please share your thoughts or advice.

Am I overreacting? Or do I have a right to feel hurt by my mum’s contempt for my wishes regarding my daughter’s diet?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Aged Care Employees Day a chance send local nursing home staff your best wishes

Every day at work in our aged care home you can see the anxious faces of our staff. This is not a recent phenomenon but has been the accumulation of stresses over the past few years. Our home is not the only one to experience this. It is sector wide and it needs to be... Read More

“I am proud”: Caring for older people in Vanuatu

The HelloCare team was recently contacted by a carer from Vanuatu, Felma Katawa Leitarisong. Ms Leitarisong told us of her role caring for older people on the tiny island where she lives, Tanna.  Though Ms Leitarisong cares for older people in much the same way we do here in Australia, there are essential differences –... Read More

Mr Cliff Cook, Chairman LifeCare Residences UK and New Zealand

Mr Cliff Cook, Chairman LifeCare Residences UK and New Zealand Integrated Retirement Community Model Mr Cliff Cook, Chairman, Lifecare Residences, New Zealand and United Kingdom. Cliff cook is a retirement pioneer, hailing from New Zealand. As the founder of Metlifecare, New Zealand’s second-biggest retirement business and more than 30 plus years in the retirement and... Read More