Feb 28, 2023

Grandma sparks debate after piercing grandaughter’s ears without mum’s permission

Grandma sparks debate after piercing grandaughter’s ears without mum’s permission

The mother of an 8-month-old girl is asking the internet for advice on how to deal with her mother-in-law after she secretly had the little girl’s ears pierced without her mother’s permission.

In a post that appeared on an online Reddit forum, the frustrated 28-year-old anonymous mother asked readers to let her know if they felt that she was “overreacting” as she shared her story.  

“I’ve been married for four years and am the mother of an 8-month-old daughter. I’m a first-time mother but I don’t think I’m overly paranoid or anything,” she wrote. 

“Last Friday, [my mother-in-law] asked if she could pick up Annie early from day care so she could spend time with her. I said ‘sure’. This isn’t the first time she’s done that and it’s never been a problem.”

Upon arriving at her mother-in-law’s house to pick her daughter up, the mother was shocked when she noticed that her daughter’s earlobes had been pierced.

According to the Reddit post, the mother-in-law had mentioned getting the little girl’s ears pierced before but was told specifically not to put the little girl through any physical pain for a cosmetic procedure. 

Despite the betrayal of the mum’s trust, the mother-in-law then proceeded to try and justify her decision to get her grandaughter’s ears pierced.

“I was further enraged when I found out my daughter’s ears had been pierced at some cheap jewelry store [at the shopping centre]. If I were going to pierce her ears, I’d have taken her somewhere with professional piercers.”

After informing her husband about what had happened, he called his mother to tell her how angry he was with her actions. He also told her that he would be removing her from the list of people who can pick up his daughter from her day care centre because he didn’t trust her.

In response, the grandmother told her son that his wife was trying to turn him against her. 

Soon after the heated phone call from her son, the grandmother sent her grandaughter’s mother a note explaining her actions via Facebook.

“I know that you’re mad at me and I want you to know that was never my intention. I love Annie with all my heart and you know I would never do anything that would hurt her,” the grandmother wrote.

“I feel like I’m being treated like a child abuser. It also hurts that you apparently think I’m not entitled to any say over my granddaughter. It takes a village to raise a child. Once again, I did not mean to upset you, and hope we can move past this.”

Some readers in the comment section felt that the grandmother’s attempts at reconciliation should be enough to move forward and allow her to see her granddaughter again.

However, the young mother revealed that although she did not want to start a rift within her own family, she no longer trust her mother-in-law with her daughter. 

What do you say, HelloCare readers? What advice would you give this mother to deal with this situation? 

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  1. i wouldn’t trust her ether i would take her of list as well it is your decion to have her ears pierced to me i think she is tring to make trouble stand up for your self

    1. I totally agree with daughter and son’s thoughts on this, the mother-in-law or even the daughters own mother, no one has the right to make those decisions only the child’s parents, she definitely did the wrong thing.

    2. PS i just reread the article. The grandmother thinks she’s” entitled “ to make decisions on her granddaughters behalf. This woman is delusional. She has ZERO rights. The only people who have the right to decide anything regarding a child are the child’s parents. It’s infuriating!

  2. I would be furious and struggle to trust her again – ever!
    Why would you purposely put an eight-month-old baby through physical pain for your own personal satisfaction?
    It is child abuse in my book!
    What a selfish, self-centred woman!

  3. The Grandmother has certainly over stepped her role and abused the trust of her family. 8 months? How dare she! I would be appalled and probably react in a similar fashion. The fact that she was previously told she could not pierce the baby’s ears before shows that she is dishonest and manipulative.

  4. I totally agree with the parents ! I am a new grandmother and I have made it quite clear to my son and daughter in law I would and will never take it upon myself to do anything out of my role as a nan . Love , nurture and care are the basics . I follow his needs set down by his parents. We have raised our children and I did not like any interference or decisions made by any of the grandparents . I imagine this grandparent had the same feelings as a parent. Very selfish and way over her boundaries !

  5. My daughter has a similar psychotic mother in law. My advice to my daughter is to CUT HER MOTHER IN LAW OFF from ever being alone with her child, my grandson. The minute any grandparent disobeys the parents or takes liberties with their grandchildren without permission, they’re done. There is no gray area on this subject: DO WHAT THE PARENT OF THE CHILD SAYS, DO NOT OVERSTEP, PERIOD ENDS OF STORY.

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