I frequent my local swimming pool, a space where people of all ages come to exercise, relax, and socialise. It’s not uncommon to see seniors and individuals living with disabilities accompanied by carers—support workers who play a vital role in their clients’ lives.
However, something increasingly troubling has caught my eye. More and more, I notice carers sitting by their clients, not engaged in conversation or offering companionship, but glued to their mobile phones.
Just the other day, I observed a young carer sitting next to a disabled client, both with their feet in the water. The carer was absorbed in her phone, scrolling endlessly, while the client stared out at the pool, disconnected from the world around them.
This isn’t an isolated occurrence. I see similar scenes at shopping centres, cafes, and most recently the zoo. From my observations, It’s often young carers who fall into this behaviour, but the effect is always the same—clients are left in a world of silent disengagement.
As someone who works closely with the aged care and disability sectors, this scenario raises an important question: how does it feel to look up from the water, or across a café table, only to find the person being paid to spend time with you utterly detached?
The emotional impact must be profound. These are not moments of isolation by choice; they are moments of involuntary loneliness, where the very person meant to alleviate solitude becomes a source of disconnection.
Carers have an enormous responsibility, not just to manage tasks but to foster emotional well-being. The role requires more than just physical presence. It’s about being engaged, attentive, and offering a sense of companionship.
Yet, it seems that the temptation of smartphones is increasingly getting in the way of this duty. It’s easy to fall into the habit of checking a message or scrolling through social media, but the cumulative effect of this behaviour is significant.
When carers shift their attention away from those they are meant to care for, it sends a clear message—consciously or unconsciously—that their client’s company is not enough to hold their attention. Imagine how isolating that must feel, especially for individuals who already experience social isolation at disproportionately high rates.
Many elderly people and those living with disabilities rely on carers not just for physical assistance but for social interaction. When that connection is broken, it’s not just a missed opportunity for conversation; it reinforces feelings of loneliness and diminishes the human experience of care.
Loneliness is an epidemic in modern society, particularly among seniors and people living with disabilities. Studies have shown that loneliness can have serious health implications, including increased risks of cardiovascular disease, cognitive decline, and depression.
It’s not just about feeling sad; it’s a tangible threat to both mental and physical well-being.
For someone already grappling with the limitations of age or disability, the presence of a disinterested carer can exacerbate feelings of isolation. Instead of being a source of comfort and connection, the carer becomes another barrier between the client and meaningful interaction with the world.
This disengagement can make a care recipient feel invisible, as though their presence is merely an obligation to be met rather than an opportunity for shared human experience.
It’s particularly troubling when you consider that for many individuals, a carer might be their only source of regular contact with the outside world. Seniors living alone, or people with disabilities who may not have a wide social circle, rely on these moments of companionship to stay connected, not just to the carer but to the world around them.
When carers opt to engage with their phones instead of their clients, it robs them of that opportunity for connection, deepening the sense of isolation many already feel.
Carers have the power to make a profound difference in the lives of those they assist. By choosing to engage with their clients fully, they can combat loneliness and foster a sense of belonging.
Simple actions like striking up a conversation, sharing stories, or even just being present in the moment can make a world of difference. For seniors, these moments of interaction help them feel valued and seen. For people living with disabilities, they reinforce a sense of inclusion and equality.
There is no doubt that caregiving is a demanding job, both physically and emotionally. However, a significant part of this role involves offering social and emotional support. And that means being present—not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.
Care is about more than ticking off tasks on a list. It’s about understanding that every moment shared with a client is an opportunity to make them feel seen, valued, and respected.
The challenge is not necessarily a lack of compassion, but rather a lack of awareness. Carers—especially younger ones—may not fully appreciate the impact of disengaging in favour of their phones. But it’s essential that those in caregiving roles understand the weight of their actions.
Training and awareness campaigns can play a vital role in highlighting the importance of being present. Encouraging carers to think about how their clients feel when they’re left alone, even momentarily, can help shift behaviour.
It’s also important for organisations employing carers to set clear expectations about phone use. While it’s understandable that carers may need their phones for emergencies or work-related tasks, there should be boundaries in place to ensure that phones don’t become a constant distraction.
Encouraging a culture of presence and engagement will not only improve the quality of care but also enrich the lives of both carers and clients.
At its core, caregiving is about connection. It’s about recognising the value of every human being, regardless of age or ability, and offering them the dignity of being fully engaged with in the present moment.
For carers, this might mean putting the phone away, looking up from the screen, and offering a simple smile or a few kind words. These are small gestures, but their impact is immeasurable.
The next time you’re in a public space and notice a carer with their client, take a moment to observe. Is there a connection being made, or is there a disheartening distance between them?
The choice to engage, or disengage, is one that carries significant weight. And for those receiving care, that choice can make all the difference in how they experience their day, their week, and ultimately, their life.
I’m not nearly as worried about the disengagement than the fact that lady’s arm is clearly broken and twisted 180 degrees in the wrong direction.
Carers need to be supported and incentivised. This behaviour occurs everywhere. It even occurs in settings where phones are banned during work time. My view is that phones are addictive but I see this kind of behaviour where people are disengaged from work for a whole lot of reasons. If you want employees to re-engage they have to supported and incentivised. To be fair jobs that are low paid with no job security and minimal training can hardly be expected to generate loyalty. I see workplaces that are unfair where people are exploited and surveilled in the interests of profit. I agree that this behaviour is harmful but I am not clear what to do about it. I don’t think it is a good idea to video people at work without their consent.
Another problem is when a care givers drops a client off at an appointment and leaves to go and do their own shopping or business of their own. The care giver might check with the receptionist to get an estimate on how long their client will be and then does not turn up in time to pick them up. It could be hot where there is no shade or out in the cold during winter. Then the older person is expected to phone the care giver when the appointment is finished. Waiting 10 – 20 minutes for the care giver driver to get back to where they were dropped off can be uncomforable for an elderly person.
Sometimes there is not a seat outside for the client to sit on. Does this mean that the older persons funding is being used for the care givers personal shopping and is also being paid for a little extra transport allowance for driving around doing their own chores. How does an older person say something without feeling like they are being picky or mean. No older person wants to create ill feelings with the person who is helping them.
Great article Jacob and so true. As you say the younger carers may not appreciate the significance of their disengagement. Training in phone etiquette is essential and client feedback on new carers might help to identify issues early.
I could imagine the hurt & loneliness building then disconnection, maybe even resentment. A viscous cycle of 2 different values, which should be one the care recipients world is what truly should matter.