Mar 22, 2022

Grandmother’s son demands that she quits her job to look after her grandchild

Grandmother’s son demands that she quits her job to look after her grandchild

A grandmother from the UK is asking the internet for advice after revealing that her son and daughter-in-law have branded her ‘selfish’ for refusing to quit her job and provide free childcare for her grandchild.

The unnamed grandmother took to online parenting forum Mumsnet where she revealed that her son and daughter-in-law are demanding that she leave a job that she “loves” to look after their child four days a week.

The grandmother alleges that the couple believes that “she doesn’t need the money” that she receives for working and that her refusal to provide free care for her grandchild is “selfish”. 

“I love my grandchildren very much,” the grandmother wrote.

She continued, “I also have bank accounts for each [grandchild], which I put money in little and often. I also work full time and have an elderly mother who I look after.”

According to the grandmother’s message, her youngest son and his wife are pressuring her to perform childcare duties for their child because they are currently struggling to cover the cost of their mortgage due to the rising cost of professional childcare.

She also revealed she misses seeing her youngest grandchild because the couple has now started “pulling back” on visits.

A large audience of angry parents have sympathised with the grandmother’s predicament and labelled the son and daughter-in-law’s request as being both “entitled” and “unreasonable”.

“You are absolutely entitled to say no,” wrote one commenter.

Meanwhile, other commenters encouraged the grandmother to continue in her job and not give in to the couple’s demands.

“They are being completely unreasonable. No one has the right to demand free childcare from their parents. Stick to your boundaries, don’t give up the job that you love.”

What do you think? Does this grandmother’s children have the right to demand that she quit her job to provide free childcare for them?

Let us know your thoughts in the comment section.

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  1. Who do they think they are these greedy young people. Entirely ur decision whether or not u do full time day care. I would find it difficult to give up a job I love. If they’ve over committed financially they may have to spend less to enable them to afford day care. There is a reason are child bearing years are when we’re physically able to care for children for long periods. They’re tiring

    1. It is absolutely the thought of grandmother, she wants? She has raised her children and her children’s duty to raise their own children by themselves.

  2. The son should have the guts to tell his wife and defen his mother right, I think the selfish is son and daughter in law, if struggle to paid off mortgage sale the house and be mortgage free, not to demand mother to give up her job so they can save childcare fees and paid mortgage, why the mother not doing enough for you yet?😡 Am a mother too.

    1. Unbelievable. Your son and DIL are ungrateful. If they want you to quit your job so you can look after their child, then tell them to pay you for lose of wages. You done you duties as a mother of raising your children. They can raise their own child.

  3. No they have no right to ask her to do that they shouldn’t have gone into buying a house if they can’t pay the mortgage or perhaps they should have waited to have a child there problem not yours they need to take responsibility trouble is some of our children think we need to be there for them and make life easy but that’s not life we make decision and if there not right that’s to bad that’s life deal with it

  4. How dare they ask her to give up her job to look after her grandchild. They decided to have a child it’s their responsibility. If they want to work they should pay someone to mind their child

  5. I think that her son and daughter-in-law are the selfish ones. The grandmother does what she can helping but she is still entitled to her own life.

  6. I’m totally disgusted with the young mums demanding that their parents look after their children.. If you offer that’s fine but to demand the mum give up her sanity with her job, hell no way… selfish brats…

  7. No definitely not.
    Live your life.
    You bought your son up + owe them nothing.

    Babysit when you can + only if it suits you.
    My opinion only.

  8. If you resign from your job, and the circumstances around the babysitting change, you may not get the job again. Your financial situation may change and you may end up struggling.

  9. I have recently been told of a similar story by a grandmother that was my work colleague here in Brisbane. Her son has married a migrant woman who has no relatives in Australia. The grandmother put a lot of money towards their wedding. She has financially helped them other ways. She helped look after the baby and daughter-in-law when they returned from hospital after birth. She stayed with them to be on hand and has given time since. But recently her son refused to let her visit because he accuses her of not loving his son like they do and she was not there helping enough so he was cutting her out of there lives. It’s farcical. Again as the description of the previous story, the generation of the entitled!

  10. Parents are not beholden to their children and I would think that the above story constitutes some form of emotional abuse that does not only impact on the woman in this story – but also on the grand-children – by withholding visits. Stand your ground and let them know.

  11. How selfish they are expecting her to give up her job to look after their child. I sympathize with the grandmother. My mother has looked after my brother’s child every day since he was 1, he’s now 5. She does it all free and she’s 82. I think it’s do wrong. If these people can’t afford to pay for childcare then 1 parent should give up their job simple as!

  12. Wow. This grandmother should stay at her job and her son and daughter in law need to rethink their demands. So selfish of them to expect her to quit something she loves to fit in with their plans. I’d be ashamed to have even have thought of this. I feel sorry for the grandchild bring out in the middle of this. So selfish.

  13. It sounds like your son and daughter in law are way overdue for a good dose of tough love. If you give into their demand for you to stop working now, you can be guaranteed that further demands will follow.
    As far as using your grandchild as part of emotional blackmail…. Well that tells me way more about your ‘precious son and his wife’s then your words ever can.
    If you enjoy your job, don’t stop.

  14. It seems you enjoy your life as it is and your job sounds more than just a job. I am sure if you gave up work now it would upset you socially and emotionally as you already have your own mother to care for. I see their predicament but they are handling it wrong. Maybe try and sit then down and help them reach a solution. As hard as it will be,k don’t give in to them as it is really their loss and their children who clearly adore their Granma.

  15. I know a gal who was told she couldn’t see her grandkids unless she babysat. Didn’t see them for months. Then the couple decided to move over 2K miles away and wanted grandma to move and be a live-in babysitter. She stayed in her own home and has no communication from them.


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