Jan 11, 2022

New mum seeks advice after her mother demands payment to babysit grandchild

New mum seeks advice after her mother demands payment to babysit grandchild

The distressed new mother – who posts under the username Candyfloss11 on the Mumsnet website – also revealed that her mother has even requested back-payments for previous occasions where she agreed to watch the child.

“For the past year, my mother has been living with me and my husband. She has helped us out a lot by looking after my son when both me and my husband are in a pinch,” the new mother wrote.

“This has been great and much appreciated, and at first I thought she was happy to help out because she expressed how much she wanted a grandchild before my son was born.”

Initially, the woman and her husband decided to let the grandmother live in their home to allow her more time with her grandchild and ease some financial burden, as she is now retired.

“Given that she is staying with us, she has no expenses. She is divorced with no partner and is retired, so it’s not like she has been missing out on any employment income anyway. We have also taken her to a few holidays with us as well,” said the new mother.

The majority of Internet users who took the time to offer their advice were critical of the grandmother’s actions, with some even encouraging the new mother to start charging her elderly mother rent.

“Say yes – happy to pay you,” wrote one commenter. “At the same time, we set up the rental agreement for us housing you/subsidising your living expenses, and then we can knock it off what you owe us.”

The new mother admitted that this situation was causing tension in the household and that she feels hurt that her own mother feels this way. 

She also said that “paying her feels like a transaction and not the fact that it’s her grandchild”.

“I’m more than happy to pay for expenses that she might incur for looking after my son, but in our case, there isn’t any because she lives with us,” said the new mother.

“But if she wants payment, then I might as well take my son to a nursery when I’m back at work.”

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